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[outofoffice]

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[outofoffice]

🌸🌼🌻🌷🌺🌹🍃: Hehe, okay.
🌸🌼🌻🌷🌺🌹🍃: The old man can be a "worst case scenario."

[sangreine]

​Soul for Sale or Rent: There are plenty of other people who can
​Soul for Sale or Rent:
​Soul for Sale or Rent: Fine I'm past caring, when and where?

[outofoffice]

🌸🌼🌻🌷🌺🌹🍃: You're welcome to come to sIV if you like.
🌸🌼🌻🌷🌺🌹🍃: Otherwise, the park is always nice!

[sangreine]

​Soul for Sale or Rent: Keeping away from blood faucets is probably wise
​Soul for Sale or Rent: Park is fine

[outofoffice]

🌸🌼🌻🌷🌺🌹🍃: I'll head there right away! ♥

[sangreine]

​Soul for Sale or Rent: I'll be the fluorescent one

[ And off to the park, bringing her violin because whatever, it might make him smile. She leaves her sword back in her room just in case. Her hair lights up a small area around her, glowing all sorts of fun colors. ]

[outofoffice]

[ A good girl who is too good to him.

Venti trots along not long later, announcing himself with: ]

My my, aren't you a sight to behold! Hehe, it looks lovely!

[sangreine]

I also had a rose growing out of my head at one point. But I had to reverse that one after one went bad.

[outofoffice]

And I missed it?! This is a tragedy indeed . . .

[sangreine]

And I had blue eyes, but I hated it. That's why he gave me the antidote. Next time I'll ask to make like a garden.

Thanks for meeting me. What a mess this day was. I should restrain myself to casual flings, it turns out way better.

[outofoffice]

Uh oh, I can see where this is going . . .

[ Flopping down onto the grass and patting the spot beside him ]

What happened?

[sangreine]

Aren't we supposed to drink before I spill my guts?

[ But she flops down (not really flops, she's incredibly graceful, but there's not much care in it) (she shows slightly more care with the instrument case but it's only out of respect for him) ]

It's not a long story at all, but will it make me sound less pathetic if I say it is?

[outofoffice]

We can get around to that. And anything bothering you this much isn't pathetic, even if it feels like it is -- those feelings are still real.

[sangreine]

And still ridiculous. [ Grumbling for sure. She's at least as mad at herself as she is upset. ] One day I'll have enough memories to act my age.

In the meantime, sign me up for a "the last game ruined something I thought was important and all I got was this need to drink heavily" t-shirt. The short, clichéd story is that running around inside the heart of someone I was starting to really care about was awful, but not near as much as finding out she was probably using me as a bad substitute for someone she lost. Now I'm acting like a lost puppy begging for scraps only to get kicked over and over for bothering.

[ And depositing her face in one hand. ] I told you, pathetic.

[outofoffice]

[ Pathetic problems, no. Baby ducking learning to walk problems? Perhaps. ]

Are you quite sure that's the truth of the matter, rather than an interpretation?

[sangreine]

[ Yeah she'd agree with that assessment, but she has all of a couple weeks of memories, give her a break. ]

Of course it's interpretation. When someone tells me to go away and refuses to discuss anything I'd say I don't have much choice but to make a few assumptions. And even if some of them aren't exactly right, the go away part was damn clear.

[outofoffice]

A dear friend of mine told me to leave them after that game as well. It was nothing to do with me, though -- he simply wished to gather his thoughts and composure.

It very well may be the same, albeit with . . . harsher delivery.

[sangreine]

Someone else told me that too, but it wasn't the same. There's a difference between someone that will let you in a little but needs some time, and someone who won't let you in at all.

It's not like I don't get wanting to be alone when bad things happen. [ Venti was there after her bloodlust hit her the first time, self-loathing sure is a hell of a drug. ] She made a whole thing about intending to stick around and the bad things that happened to me didn't matter, twice actually. Which is why I thought I should at least try, after I gave her some space and waited for her to contact me first. That conversation went down in flames because she would not answer a simple question about whether she's doing any better, even after I said we don't have to talk about it.

There are only so many times someone can shove me off before it feels not worth the trouble. Maybe that's just who she is, which is fine, I'm not blaming anyone for it, but that doesn't mean I want to sign up for more of it. Especially if she wants it to be that one-sided.

[outofoffice]

Ah, I think I understand . . .

It may be as simple as a bad match, but that doesn't mean your emotions are on the same page as your mind.

[ Reaching out to pet her hair ]

I can see why you're so hurt and disappointed.

[sangreine]

[ Leaning into that petting, shameless as ever. ] I'll manage. Mostly I just feel ridiculous, like I should have known better. The other two people I was maybe getting feelings for aren't any less frustrating, but I have plenty of friends to keep my bed warm without complications. It could be a lot worse.

[ Not to say she doesn't want to drink some magic booze and forget that feelings exist, because she definitely does. ]

[outofoffice]

Known better? With your abundance of memories, you mean?

[ Hairpets will not stop until morale improves, then ]

Unfortunately, the only options are to remember these things, or experience them anew yourself.

[ Because if she's as old as she says, there's a 100% chance she knows all this already and simply needs to remember it. ]

[sangreine]

Both those options are terrible. It's a good thing you're good at hair stroking.

[ Look, a smile! She's not too in her angst for that. ]

If you knew what my first memory was, you'd understand why I'm not so eager to buy more. I know I'll have to, but one obnoxious mess at a time.

[outofoffice]

I can't pretend to understand the difficulty of the choice, as I came here with my memories intact. However . . .

You have the option of simply not taking them at all, and starting anew. To remember the past, or break from it; that is one of the few freedoms this place allows us.

[sangreine]

Unfortunately, I don't. Not really. It would be reckless if I chose not to find out more about myself how I maybe could control whatever happens to me when I get hungry, or -- [ sighing ]

You can watch the memory, if you want. I can't think of a better time than before getting hammered to deal with it, and it might help you understand why I can't just choose to ignore my past. Even having asked people to take care of things if I lose myself [ yes she did talk to Zhongli, and several others ], I don't want to ask them to clean up my mess if I'm not willing to take steps to maybe spare them that.

[ She is very selective in what she takes wisdom points in, clearly. ]

[outofoffice]

I'm not opposed to it . . . but you needn't relive a trauma just for my understanding, either.